


my tears my beers and my candles

by deuklore



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, I just wanted to write, Past Relationship(s), This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, dont hate them, more suyoo centric, realistic friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:20:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28569126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deuklore/pseuds/deuklore
Summary: yoohyeon spends the last week of december at her old house.
Relationships: Kim Bora | SuA/Kim Yoohyeon, Kim Yoohyeon/Lee Siyeon
Kudos: 21





	my tears my beers and my candles

**Author's Note:**

> i was watching htgawm season 6 and got a spark of inspiration to write this from frank and bonnie’s dynamics, although it is not even similar. if you’ve watched that, you will see in the coming chapters a reference of their dialogue in one episode
> 
> also just wanna say i impulsively posted this and can only hope to finish it!
> 
> (italic is past, normal is present)
> 
> enjoy

_“Would you ever want somebody to write a book about you?”_

_Bora had sighed at the question. She picked up the sharpened pencil, again, for she had one last word left to finish that night’s chapter. Her finger popped as she hovered it over the light switch of her desk lamp, and the words she had sat unmoving for hours to put on paper disappeared with the light._

_The chair squeaked when she stood, and after came the enervated yawns from her that almost knocked the air out of her small cramped body._

_“Why? Is that your plan?”  
_ _Yoohyeon laughed. “No. All I can see myself writing about is how, well, interesting you look putting on my shirt right now, which wouldn’t do the smart you any justice.”  
_ _The redhead smiled under the stolen piece of clothing as it slid past her head and loosely hung on her shoulders. “People love a lover’s perspective. I’d buy it.”_

_She let her hair down and Yoohyeon watched as the wavy locks fell perfectly into place. Soon enough her head was in the younger’s lap, and only that moment was able to free her from the strain that resulted from her everyday life. That was her Rapunzel climbing down the tower moment._

_“I wouldn’t like to share it with the world.” Yoohyeon grinned, gaining a mirrored gesture from the girl in her embrace. Her fingers ran through dark strands of hair, after tracing a line along the side of Bora’s face. Her favourite, the dotted side where Bora’s beauty was the most touchable and real. And Bora realised Yoohyeon had developed a habit as she welcomed that comfort, given from the feeling of her lover’s fingertips against her scalp.  
_ _“Anyway, what was your answer?”  
_ _She strained her neck to get a better look at Yoohyeon above her, meeting anticipating eyes.  
_ _“I don’t know. Is there really anything to tell? I know from experience how writer’s-block-fueling it is trying to make up interesting shit about uninteresting people and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”_

_Bora wanted to take what she had blurted right back to remove the unfamiliar look that initiated on Yoohyeon’s face, even if she thought it was the truest thing she had ever said about herself. Yoohyeon seemed to move on quickly, though, because then a groan left her lips, relatively loud as to Bora’s drowsy murmurs._

_“It’s a simple yes or no question. Leave out the idea of an author working behind it all. It is comprehensively all about if you want it.”_

_Bora had blinked a couple of times, trying to resist her current want, for an odd reason, but it didn’t work. She pulled herself up and closer as patiently and slowly as possible but Yoohyeon, while her back pressed deeper into the headboard of the bed, still blushed. One hand landed on the mattress near the further side of the younger’s waist, protectively though no one was near to protect from. While the other did the caressing on her cheekbone until their kiss was too real to escape from._

It was too real and had Yoohyeon smiling, evidently _not_ for the first time. Siyeon detached herself from the mess she made of Yoohyeon’s lipstick and switched off the neglected film they had been supposedly watching.

“I need to pack up, and then I’m all yours for one last night.” What the blonde had said against Yoohyeon’s hair before pecking her and leaving her side of the bed.

She was about to pout her way into her girlfriend’s heart and ask her to stay, but the vibration of her phone beneath the sheets stole her attention along with any excuses she had to say to persuade Siyeon. It was a text from her friend. Albeit a surprise.

Handong  
_22:48: was thinking you could stay a few nights here while siyeon’s gone?_

_22:49: what do you think? and the girlfriend, if you need her permission or smth_

If she didn’t know Handong the way she did, Yoohyeon would think the worst of her comment about Siyeon and reject such an undisciplined invitation. But she was well aware of what had driven her friend to have that attitude towards anything concerning the blonde, and Yoohyeon had worked hard to get a confirmation out of her that it wasn’t actual resentment.

Saying yes was the better choice. In fact, she was planning on asking anyway, and Handong made it feel less… insane, by inviting her. However, what pushed her to agree is the dread she felt just by thinking of having to be alone for more than a day. Because she never had to. And the double meanings behind all these thoughts succeeded in sabotaging her mood.

Yoohyeon  
_22:52: would a certain someone be okay with that?_

Siyeon walked out of the bathroom to catch the younger girl inattentively gritting her teeth around her knuckles, in a more dazed state than she left her in. A bit lost herself, she initially went to the opened suitcase sprawled out on the floor of their bedroom and emptied her hands from the necessities she had packed and then contemplated if it was something she said earlier that brought on the pensive expression on Yoohyeon’s face.

Siyeon came to kiss her and Yoohyeon’s first thought was unsettling. _Since when did it become so easy to be kissed by someone?_ The thought was unwelcomed and so intrusive to the point that it made her double over and Siyeon’s lips slipped from hers.

“Is everything okay?” The older girl was close to panicking, but Yoohyeon found her hand and shook her head.   
“I’m sorry.” She swallowed. “It’s nothing.”  
Doubt filled her girlfriend’s eyes. It was unfair, so unfair, to let something like this happen only a few hours before it was time for Siyeon’s departure. But Yoohyeon didn’t see it coming either.  
“Seriously. Forgive me if I’m not that excited for a whole month of not having you around.” She faked a smile and the genuineness she easily gained in return had pulled her by the ankle to drown in a blackened pond of guilt and self-loathing.

They fell into a cuddle, initiated by a tired Yoohyeon and so packing was postponed until the next morning. One fulfilling night couldn’t be enough to make up for the upcoming ones, but Yoohyeon told her it was more than that. Yet when the energy had run out of Siyeon and she drifted off to sleep under the safety of Yoohyeon’s arm, the phone chimed and what the message implied left her feeling empty and sleepless.

Handong  
_1:32: she’s pretty good at acting like you’re dead, i don’t think she’ll even notice you sleeping in the same house_

_1:33: she’ll be fine_

_1:33: you can come tomorrow!! minji says hi_

_—_

All the mixed feelings she was trying to shrug off during the short drive to her favourite street, with little to no patience, had to vanish when the sight of her two longtime friends was before her. One standing and the other crouching in the midst of their flourished front yard. Yoohyeon waited on letting her presence disturb their conversation, which she could hear distant bits of from where she stood, on the outside of the gate.

“Remove the clumps, or I’ll do it myself!” Handong said with annoyance.  
“Not yet! Not until I work up another spot to replant them.” Minji dodged the threat and sprang up to her feet to tower over the shorter woman. “You’re so mean, you never think about the poor plants.”   
“I don’t see why I should care about your stupid plants.” She rolled her eyes, folding her arms defensively. “But once they’re long enough to block the way, I’ll cut them.”

Their conversation seemed to escalate into an argument, and even that, Yoohyeon didn’t want to interrupt, because she knew it was harmless. She was slowly being overcome by drastic nostalgia for the days she and Bora were stuck in a dormitory with them, having no way to escape it other than heading out for short walks, which almost always happened at ungodly hours, when they’re simply too bored to sleep.

After warmth had filled her chest, the anxiety she felt as she pushed the gate open was precisely distinguishable. The little creak emitting from the action finally earned her their attention.

“There she is.” Minji’s eyes grew wider and she clapped her hands exhilaratingly.  
“Finally.” Handong hurriedly came to her side. “I thought you weren’t coming.”   
“Well, in case you forgot, I had to drop by the airport.” 

As predicted, the house didn’t change since the last time she had been there. It was apparently a long time ago, talking months, but Yoohyeon didn’t feel that strong pull to the past so extremely until she stepped into the open kitchen where every other corner in the small home was viewable. The steady boiling of a thermo pot resounded in the room. She turned on her heels and met a beaming Minji leaning on the counter behind her, her glowing purple hair contrasted with almost everything surrounding it.

“Tell me you don’t miss it.”   
“I do.” Yoohyeon replied with a tender laugh. “I see you still haven’t repainted the walls. You wanted to do that since, what, January?”  
“Wow. I can’t believe you remember that and Dongie _doesn’t_.” Minji exclaimed, thus putting a little too much energy in pouring the freshly-made coffee but managed to avoid making a potential mess. “You should say that again when she comes in.”   
“God, Minji, stop being obsessed with me and ask the girl about herself.” Right on time, the blue-haired woman came in and her hand went straight to pick up one of the hot cups.  
“You wish I was interested.”

Yoohyeon observed as they consumed their coffees like quick shots of bar drinks and remembered that they were both early office workers for, coincidentally (or not), the same company and department. While Bora was the one who worked late. Also a pretty quick coffee consumer, except her whatabouts, to Yoohyeon, currently unknown.

“So, you didn’t tell us, where does Siyeon’s family live?”  
Thankfully, Minji’s question pulled the brunette right off a train of thought she wasn’t ready to take yet.   
“Japan, currently.” Before they could give her a questioning look, she added, “They move a lot, for her dad’s business arrangements and things. She tries to stay out of most of it, though.”  
“But they couldn’t spare her the New Year’s week to spend with her girlfriend?” Handong chaffed.   
“Y’all’s first, too.” The eldest added. “Do they know of your existence? I just need to know.”

It wasn’t like it was the first time Siyeon had been bandied about by her friends. Yoohyeon had been through it all, and it was way less bearable back when they weren’t convinced from the fact that Yoohyeon was in her fully comprehensive mind the moment she was being asked out. She knew they were supportive of her eventually, but she also swore to never let the two parties meet.

“Sorry, I’m just joking.” Minji eyed her apologetically.   
But how much more joking could she endure?  
“No, I know. They do, in fact. Her mom’s nice. Not her sister, though. That girl is like a second copy of the Gahyeon we know.”

The following silence was more felt than usual. Yoohyeon was about to excuse herself to her old room, but they beat her to speaking.

“I’m sorry too, Yoohyeon.”   
What was happening? Did she look upset?   
“We should really stop that. No matter how… ill-timed the start of your relationship was back then, we can put it behind us. Right, Minji?” Handong inquired, looking between Yoohyeon’s unreadable eyes and her own hands.   
“Yes. We’ve had enough of giving you a hard time.” And Minji nodded. “Might as well bring her here with you next time.”   
That woman must’ve been out of her mind.  
“Are you crazy?” Handong stole the words right out of Yoohyeon’s agape mouth, but their ridiculing expressions had been the same, making the older girl switch her gaze between them back and forth.   
“Okay, this is the last time any of you bring her up. Now, I’m gonna go pee.” Yoohyeon stood up and went to grab the backpack that she had quietly placed against the wall before, missing the brief glance the two of them shared.

Everyone heard the front door close rather stridently, along with a small sigh of relief coming from the last inhabitant of the house. From that moment time slowed down for Yoohyeon, in contrast to her racing heart, and even the process of pulling her bag up had dramatically stopped halfway. As sounds of light footsteps hitting the wooden tiles echoed between the walls, courage was rapidly abandoning the brunette’s body. She bit her lip and looked back at her friends, evidently in panic.

They eyed her from across the table, Minji shaking her head and the other girl mouthing, _“Don’t_.”   
_“I’m sorry.”_

Fast enough, Yoohyeon found herself pressed against the outer wall of a doorless storage room in the corner, silently cursing herself as she listened to the conversation unfold.

“Hey, Minji, are you not gonna cut those plants out of the way? They’re quite troublesome when it’s dark.”

Yoohyeon lamentably sighed. Her head slumped back on the concrete. She pondered to whom her behaviour was most unfair. Siyeon, her friends or herself? 

“Th-That’s exactly what I told her!” Handong said in a distracted voice.   
“And I said I will _get_ to it. Bora, I told you to stop saying things Dongie would agree with.”  
“Dongie and I, we’re very wise women. But you couldn't be more adorable.” Bora disguised her words in a monotonous tone, but even without seeing her face yet, Yoohyeon could hear the teasing smile that accompanied them.

The girl in hiding suddenly felt jealous, and longed for the days where she was with them, a part of them. Gathered around the miniature table in their dorm and upsetting the life out of each other just for the sake of having a laugh in the midst of a tough week. But she knew she wasn’t, despite Handong and Minji constantly trying to make her feel otherwise. What made her current state more embarrassing is the fact that she _could_ come out, and no one would grab her hair, or scold her into leaving. Bora _was_ the wisest woman she’d known; wise enough to never let it be the same again. One would wonder, how was she sure of all of that when they haven’t faced each other in seven months?

“I didn’t think she’d be here this early.”  
She tried concentrating back on Bora’s voice, after losing track of their small talk.   
The other two hummed in confusion.   
“What?” Minji asked, while Handong’s clearing of the throat was louder than anything she could say.   
“An extra pair of shoes, geniuses.” Already on her way to her room, Bora let out one last powerless laugh.


End file.
